If you are reading this, chances are you or someone you know is struggling with child-to-parent violence. First, let me say: you are not alone. This is an incredibly difficult and often isolating experience, but there is support available, and there are steps you can take to try and protect yourself and begin to heal.

What is Child-to-Parent Violence?
Child-to-parent violence (CPV) refers to situations where a child, typically a teenager, uses force or threats of force to gain control or dominance over their parent. This violence can take many forms, including physical aggression, emotional abuse, verbal threats, and manipulation. No matter what it looks like, it is important to understand that you are not responsible for this behavior, and it is not your fault.

Immediate Safety

If you are in immediate danger or feel threatened, your safety is the top priority. Here are some important steps to take:

  • Call Emergency Services: If you or someone else is at risk of physical harm, call 999 (or your local emergency number). It’s okay to ask for immediate assistance, and you deserve to feel safe.
  • Create a Safety Plan: Consider creating a safety plan for yourself and your family. This may include identifying safe spaces in your home, knowing how to exit the home if necessary, and having a list of trusted contacts you can call for help. We also had a key safe as part of our safety plan – The code for this was shared with the emergency services in case of times we were not able to answer the door.
  • Reach Out to Trusted People: If you feel safe doing so, reach out to friends, family members, or a support network you trust. Sometimes having someone who understands can make all the difference. I can’t thank the people enough who I felt safe enough to speak to about this for the love they showed. I owe a lot to them.

Getting Support

It’s crucial to have support, both emotional and practical. There are a variety of options available depending on your situation.

  • Therapy and Counseling: Speaking to a professional can help you work through the trauma you’re experiencing and develop strategies for managing the situation. Many therapists specialize in family dynamics and trauma, so don’t hesitate to seek help.
  • Support Groups: Connecting with others who understand what you’re going through can be incredibly helpful. Look for local or online support groups for parents dealing with CPV. Sharing experiences with others in similar situations can help you feel heard and less isolated.
  • Hotlines and Crisis Services: If you need immediate emotional support or don’t know where to turn, consider calling a helpline. Here are some resources:
    • Samaritans
      Available 24/7 at 116 123
    • Shout – A text based support service, available 24/7 on 85258 – Text shout to start the conversation.
    • Family Rights – Available Monday – Friday 9.30am – 3pm on 0808 801 0366
    • Parenting Helplines: Many countries have specific helplines for parents facing extreme challenges with their children. Look for a local helpline to get advice or immediate assistance.
  • Legal Support: If you’re considering legal action or need advice regarding your rights, reach out to organizations that specialize in family law. Many groups offer free consultations or sliding-scale services to help families navigate the legal process.

Resources for Parents Experiencing CPV

Here are some resources that can help you understand CPV better and guide you toward solutions:

  1. Books & Articles:
    • “When Violence Is the Answer” by Tim Larkin – An approach to understanding aggression and how to protect yourself.
    • “The Explosive Child” by Ross W. Greene – A guide on dealing with children who have explosive behaviors.
    • “Parenting a Violent Child: Strategies to Help You Cope” – Articles and resources on handling aggressive behavior in children.
  2. Online Communities:
    • Facebook Groups: Join forums and groups where parents share their experiences with CPV. You’ll find solidarity and advice.
  3. Organizations & Advocacy:
    • Parenting Support UK: A UK-based charity that provides advice, counseling, and support for parents facing behavioral issues with children.

Seeking Change: Our Call to Action

We believe in the power of collective action. As parents, we have the right to live without fear. We are not powerless in the face of child-to-parent violence.

If you are ready to help us raise awareness, here are some ways you can take action:

  • Sign Our Petition: Help us push for policy changes that offer better protection for parents and greater support for families dealing with child to parent violence.
  • Share Your Story: By sharing your experience, you can help others feel heard and spark important conversations. We encourage you to join our community (linked above) or to reach out via the contact us page and let your voice be part of the movement for change.
  • Reach Out to MP’s/Counsellors: Contact your local representatives to advocate for laws that protect parents and children. You have the power to push for change in your community.

You Are Not Alone

The pain of child-to-parent violence is real, but there is hope. There are people who understand, resources available to guide you, and a community that cares. Please remember: it is not your fault, and you do not have to face this alone.

If you need more information, have specific questions, or want to share your own experience, feel free to contact me directly through the Contact Page. I’m here to listen and support you in any way I can.